The victory

A roaring sea captured in a small canister
What a suffocating irony
The face and the soul
A face that doesn't betray the soul
Words that fail feelings
The heart paints its walls with a thousand colors
The only colors these eyes convey - black n white
Chariot drivers - dreams , wishes and desires
Horses - Ethics, morals, commitments
A heart's universe
A brain's Kingdom
The intoxicating fragrant shifty petals
The reminding warning constant thorns
The moon dying to be trusted,
behind the passing clouds that dispute its existence
The clouds that have always rained in the past
Always dulled the sheen of the evasive moon

This time the clouds win
So that the moon doesn't blind
The face, the words and the eyes firm,
resolute, the heart won't be battered again
It will keep painting on the canvas of dreams
It won't wear,
It's not the fragile fabric of reality,
that dissolves in tears
Yes, the horses win
lest the chariot could get lost
The thorns win
Lest the heart could bleed to emptiness





Note: Victory comes with a price :)

Thoughts

Cheques, good will and sumone's love for you; don't cash in on all of it now. You may need it for future

Thanks Mr/Ms Uncivilized

Today 5.30 in the evening.

I took a mattress, Angels n Demons by Dan Brown, a bottle of water and my cell phone and went to my favorite place, the terrace. The sky was orange with a huge tendency towards bluish light grey. There was the chirruping noise of small kids playing in the gully 3 floors below. I spread the mattress just close to the side walls, so that I could lean against the wall, just beside the two potted plants, green and clean.

I made myself comfortable and then went to my Music Player list on my mobile n pressed on   " Tum jo mil gaye ho" from Hanste Jakhm. While the melody cascaded I started turning the pages of  "A n D" ; was thinking whether to go for it a second time or not. First time I had read it, I could not put it down for anything.

The melody shifted to " Doob Jana Re" from " Main Meri Patni aur Woh", yes the comedy.

I decided to go for the book. I started diving deeper in the pool of engrossment, but was not completely drowned as I could still notice the song switch to " Roshni se Bhare Bhare" (Asoka) and then to
"Naina Barse" (Woh Kaun Thi) after that I couldn't keep track of the songs. This implies I was now completely engrossed in the book. Was still thinking about the origin of the word Assassin, was getting impressed by Dan Brown's research and knowledge and how could one reach that state of knowledge where one can think about writing such a book and claim it as factual. What authority....! I was impressed and fascinated.

Just then I was shaken out of it. A few drops of water were followed by a completely black creature, wet in patches and fluffy in patches, jumping overhead to the nearby Syntax water tank, most probably from the terrace of the house right behind our terrace. The houses have their backyards towards each other. So the terraces were close enough for the creature who jumped with great swiftness but a silence that surpassed the swiftness. It was a big black cat. But before I realised fully and could recollect that the name is cat another splash came in; though missed me by inches. I wasn't drenched but only a few drops on my face and hand. I gathered perhaps someone had decided to teach the cat a lesson with a bucket full of water or two. Whatever the case, the person had no business going on splashing other people's terraces like that, without caring to find out if someone was sitting there or not. What uncivilized behaviour. I decided to protest and said aloud. " Pani kisne fenka?" (Who threw the water?). But was answered by silence, perhaps the person had vanished, as I would have done had I been in his or her place.

I frowned as I could not lecture him about civic sense and to take care next time before embarking on " Bathe the neighbourhood cats project". But could not.

But suddenly I felt I could not help feeling elated and happy instead of feeling bitter. What was it?
I was feeling fresh and rejuvenated suddenly. I looked around and felt the surrounding had changed. The air was filled with my favorite scent, that of wet earth, and my face was having that minty cool feeling due to the drops. The water directed at the cat had actually fallen on the plant pots and the dry terrace giving up the scent of earth. It just completed my dream ambiance; evening, sunset, book, music, scent of earth, cool air and all of it on a terrace. Loved it. Absolutely loved it.

Instead of being furious now I want to thank Mr/Ms Uncivilized. And also Mr. Cat, calmly licking away itself, who can very well be called Mr Cool Attitude too :). Both did not care to find out if other creatures also inhabit their earth. Still thanks for making my Evening.

Note:
We can be so weird at times. But if this is weird, I wish I get a million more such occasions to be weird.
It is not fiction. It happened today a few hours back. I came down had a cup of tea, no I don't like tea but had to have biscuits and I like them with tea, and could not help writing it. I find it silly now. But I am still posting it as this is me and this is "My Diary".

The bike ride

I went with my bro for a long ride on Hosur Road to Electronic City on his bike.


It feels really nice when the bike is running at 90 and you can just close your eyes and feel the wind going past your ears, the roaring wind, no other sound can reach you, and you can actually feel that air has also got mass and volume, as... proved in school science experiments :). Awesome. I just love bike rides.
 
There is so much to life than musing over things. You can't stop anyone from thinking what he wants to think. You cannot stop the winds around from lighting up the cinders. What you can control is your own thoughts and your own intentions. If you own a clear conscience, you are in the best state of mind you can be. Cause when there is even a very little thing biting on your conscience you cannot enjoy the best of your favorite hobbies.
 
I can only intend well and let go.
 
Everything will come around. God will be my advocate. He is the one who has been with me and will be with me always. No matter what. As long as I prove worthy.
 
This is what I thought of among other things while enjoying my bike ride :)
 
Take care and stay happy

Just being me

I wanted to put in what is going through my mind right now...but then I feel blank.... no particular direction in my thoughts is there.

I want to be able to write something like my other blogger friends do; something which sounds very mature and very serious and has something for every one in it; which has some meaning; some great truth of life, like the blogs that others write and I just relish.

I tapped all corners of my brain but could not come up with anything. Then I thought what is it that makes me want to write the way the others write? Is it love for writing ? No, and I discovered an ugly truth about me. I could not stand being an audience, I was being jealous of creativity in others.

Oh no ! I must take that negative me out here on this page...and leave it here.

Sorry to my friends for I got jealous. I love your work.
Sorry to me, the part in me that thinks I am a good person, I am yet to go a long way.

Felt miserable at the discovery and now feel happy too; cause I found it now, I can step on it now and try to rise above.

Is it that easy.....? Well let me try :)

I want to be me and be able to feel proud about being me. God help me.

Oh so much of "Me". I have heard to achieve greatness we must put behind the "Me"... but this "Me" is the thing that has to be dealt with now..... only when I have dealt with me can I think about "You".

If someday I call you.....

If someday I call you;
will you meet me at a moments notice?
Will you let me cry on your shoulders n not ask me why;
neither console nor quiet me.
Will you just let me cry
till my eyes dry

If someday I call you.........